Another Day At The Office, Only Hotter

Posted on July 7, 2010


We’re cooking in another heat wave, hotter than the last one. A distinct haze is in the air, along with the temperature. Ozone. Don’t tell me how hot it is. I don’t want to know.

I’m sorry to say there was an accident in the surf in front of my workplace today. Police and ambulance responded. EMTs carried a young man off the beach. He was strapped to a body board, with a brace on his head and neck. They often use the neck brace as a precaution, so we  can hope that the injury turns out to be not serious.

Then, in the evening, complaints about people hitting other people with these green laser lights. Every summer, it’s something different in Ocean City. Last year it was saliva. Of course, they’ve been selling these laser lights for years. I think they keep getting more powerful. I hear some of them are selling now for $40. The people who buy this stuff have way too much disposable income.

I’m told these powerful lasers can cause serious eye damage, if you point it in someone’s face. One fellow was arrested recently for aiming a laser at a  police helicopter flying overhead.

I had to go knock on a few doors and read the riot act. As usual, one family was very cooperative. The man said he’d take the lights away from his kids. We won’t see any more green lights from his balcony, he promised.

It was a different story at another condo. The whole family came to the door and admitted they have several of the green laser lights. What’s the problem, a middle-aged man asked, somewhat belligerently. They’re legal, he said.

It’s like a gun, I told him. It’s perfectly legal to own one. But if you shoot someone with it, there are consequences. He wanted to argue the point. This is your only warning, mister. If you want to argue, I can arrange for you to discuss it with the OCPD. Here on your doorstep. Would  tonight be convenient?

On the bright side, Ocean City has been as busy and crowded as it should be during the season, last week and this week. Next week looks good, too.

Also on the bright side, Tuesday night is my Friday. I’m off Wednesday and Thursday. I plan to enjoy a small cookout Wednesday afternoon with visitors. Mostly, I think I’ll sit in the shade and talk election strategy. See (I wonder if I need a shorter URL?)

— John Hayden